WTFOTWH

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

So many funny things have been said in the last months, but these are the three I remembered to write down. Enjoy!

We were reading one of our favorite books with the girls when we saw the page with the taxi on it. (There’s a taxi with all of one number here in town that the girls love to spot as we drive.)

“Hey girls,” I asked, “do you think that’s a 999-9999 taxi?”

Gracie hunched over the picture. “No,” she began slowly, “it’s a T, A, X, one – taxi.”

Oh the giggles!

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For breakfast one morning I cut up a good amount of oranges for the girls. While we were eating I had to take Zoe up to her nap. I found the oranges all eaten when I returned with a huge pile of peels on Mckayla’s plate.

“Uh-oh girls, you ate all the oranges already.”

The girls began to pipe up,

“I only had two.”

“I only had five.”

“I only had three.”

Mckayla joined in, her voice just as disappointed as her sisters,

“I only had fifteen.”

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The week after Christmas we enjoyed a family hike at a nearby walking trail. I led the pack pushing Owen in the stroller with Gracie behind me and Mckayla behind her. Paul pushed Zoe in her little stroller while keeping up with Hope and Sophia who were in explorer mode complete with hats, backpacks, walking sticks, pencils, notebooks, and rulers.

Anyways.

Gracie piped up as we walked, “I’m a shepherd and you’re a star!”

That was funny enough, but she really got me when a few minutes later she added, “Why am I following a talking star?”

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What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 2 Comments

Surprisingly, these first two are from my husband. He totally cracks me up – I thought first to put these on facebook, but then thought they’d be better here, since it’s been awhile.

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We’d been driving for several minutes where Paul and I had been quietly talking to each other with the constant interruption of “Mommy! Daddy!”

“Children!” Paul began, in a very professorial tone, “I’m trying to talk to your mother. I chose her to be my wife. I loved her and wanted to be with her and talk to her. I did not choose you. I love you very much, but you were thrust upon me. You are here no matter what. But your mother I chose. I did not have to be with her, but I wanted to and so I married her because I wanted to talk to her.”

He went on and on restating himself until finally concluding, “So please, sit there and be quiet for just a few minutes so mother and I can talk.”

It was mostly quiet with a few giggles before Sophia piped up, “Daddy?”

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The little girls were finishing getting ready for bed, I was on the couch relaxing, and Hope and Paul were talking.

He handed her a book to read to him. She didn’t want that one.

“Here, this is Anne of Green Gables; do you know what that is?” Paul asked.

Hopey shook her head.

“It’s a book that a whole lot of people like,” he began, “And do you know how many of all those people are women?”

Hope shook her head again.

“All of them.”

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A few mornings ago, we were all in the kitchen and Gracie kept opening her mouth and making an “Ah!” noise trying to get our attention.

“Gracie, what are you trying to show us?” I asked.

With huge eyes and excited voice she replied, “Two of my taste buds are stuck together and they won’t come off!”

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My children are very interested in what meats come from what animals. We’ve been eating roast beef sandwiches for lunch lately and they’ve started this funny joke among themselves. One of the little girls will say, “Mommy, what animal is this from?”

“A cow.”

“Ohhhh!” They get excited and pick up there meat to hold flat in their hand. “Would you like to pet my cow?”

I politely decline.

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Mckayla said this a few months ago, but the girls loved it so much that it has become another one of their jokes.

She was being slow to finish her lunchmeat so I kindly reminded her that she needed to finish quickly if she wanted her cookie/treat/whatever-it-was-that-day.

“Okay.” She responded happily (love when that happens), “but I can’t eat too much or I’ll have to go to the hospital.”

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Hope you enjoyed the latest installment of all the silly, random, and ridiculous things said around here.

Until next time! = )

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 2 Comments

This is probably the longest collection of random, ridiculous, and silly things that I’ve ever posted. Wow, has it been a riot around here!

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One of Hope’s Awana teachers stopped me after church on Sunday night to tell me about something Hope had said. Apparently the question had been asked, “What was one of God’s promises to Abraham?”

She raised her hand and answered, “That he would have a lot of defendants!”

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We were in the car when Gracie randomly asked me, “Mommy, how does that ‘peas-on-or’ go?”

“The what?”

“Peas-on-or!”

“Peace-honor?” I was trying really hard.

She repeated it again.

“Oh, do you mean like “Peace on earth, good will to men?”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like -” and she began humming part of the verse to “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing.”

“Oh, ‘peace on earth and mercy mild…'” I finally got it.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s it!” and she went on happily singing it.

I love playing Mad Gab with a three-year-old.

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Sophia picked up a funny phrase from a Paddington Bear book this week.

At lunch I asked her if she would like more carrots.

“Well, strike-a-me pink, yes I would!”

And she continued to weave that phrase into every sentence she said. Needless to say it was -as the girls would say- “a crackin’ up” lunch. = )

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Last Saturday, we walked to a bagel shop for breakfast. (So fun!)

While we were there Gracie turned to me and said, “My bagel is so good! Mommy, I’m going to count to three and you’re going to take a bite of my bagel.”

This was quite interesting seeing how dearly Gracie loves her food. Paul and I looked at each other and smiled, then looked back and her and waited.

And waited.

She took a huge drink of orange juice, then another bite of bagel.

We looked at each other again then back at her.

Crickets, crickets. Nothing. She happily went on eating her food and taking huge drinks of orange juice.

We looked back at each other and tried not to laugh.

Paul asked, “Gracie, when are you going to count to three so Mommy can have a bite of your bagel?”

“Well…” (if you know her, you should be able to hear what that word sounds like when she says it) “I’m going to take thwee big drinks of orange juice and then she’s going to take a bite!”

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Last night, the girls played their current favorite bedtime game of hiding from Paul when he comes in to sing their goodnight songs. They were all under their blankets, “hidden.”

When it came time for Sophia’s turn, she threw off the covers and made her best monster face, “I’m a giant!” she bellowed.

“Giant,” Paul asked, “what did you have for breakfast today?”

“A person!” she snarled.

“Wow! What did you have for lunch?”

“A rambonian!!” she was trying to keep a straight face.

“A what?”

She pulled her act back together, “A zebra!”

” Wow, and what did you have for dinner?”

She shrugged her shoulders casually and said, “A banana.”

Something about it was so funny. I think Paul and I both laughed uncontrollably for at least a minute.

Gracie decided it was her turn. “I’m a lion!” she roared.

“Really?” Paul asked, “And lion, what did you have for breakfast today?”

She twisted up her face and said, “A bear!”

“Wow, and what did you have for lunch?”

“Eyeballs!”

After our laughter subsided, we decided that was probably a good place to stop.

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In other news, it’s been a great week! We began potty training Mckayla on Monday and the first two days were quite unproductive. However, since then she’s caught on – yay! It made everything else even more challenging, but in retrospect, we did great! Finishing school this week felt like a major accomplishment! 

We’re looking forward to a fun, but busy week ahead. Let’s hope we can bring some order to this place on Saturday or we will be sunk for sure. = ) 

Love to all!

Christie

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 2 Comments

Hello dear everybody out there. Just bringing you the latest and greatest random, ridiculous, and silly things said around here.

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Hope received a wooden bead/pipe cleaner craft set for Christmas. I figured she would use it here and there for a while, but she sat down and used all the beads making bracelets in one hour! It was impressive; I wish I had taken pictures.

Anyways, she said she wanted to take them to her Sunday school and give them to all the girls. Sounds great! We boxed them up; she made a sign explaining they were free and anyone who wanted one could have them, and off to Sunday school they went.

Apparently, it was a great success. They were all gone but three, and Hope was glowing.

Paul was asking her questions about how it went and she was giving us the play by play. Paul asked if any boys had taken any.

Hope shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well, a few of them did; but I couldn’t really control that.”

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Last night, Gracie asked me what was for dinner.

“Beef strips, cooked carrots and couscous.” I answered.

“Tooth boost?”

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One morning while I was cleaning up from breakfast, the girls got this idea to have Mckayla be their little friend “Mckenna” who had come to spend the night. They took her all over the house explaining all the rooms.

“This is the room where you will stay. This is where you’ll use the bathroom. This is where so-and-so sleeps.”

They finished the tour at the kitchen. I was sweeping the floor.

“And this is our maid. She cleans and cooks for us.”

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 1 Comment

imageIt certainly has been a long time since we did one of these. There has been no lack of random, ridiculous and silly things said here; I have just not kept up with writing them down. Every time I’ve thought of writing them here, I’ve stopped because there have been so many I’ve missed. But here we go again, if for no other reason than to get back in the saddle again.

I’m afraid with one exception, this might be a solo Gracie routine.

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As we pulled into the parking lot for our pediatrician’s office, one of the girls asked, “Will we have to sit on the sick side today?”

“Yes,” I replied, “we’ll have to sit on the sick side.”

Gracie: “I want to sit on the seven side!”

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No joke. The next time we pulled into that same parking lot, the girls again asked which side we would be on.

“We’ll be on the well side.” I answered.

Gracie: “The twelve side?”

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On the way home from church tonight, Gracie began out of nowhere, “Mommy, octopuses have soooo many legs! Like soooo much legs! Not one… not two… not three, but like zwewo legs!”

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Sometimes the funniest comments come from a misunderstanding. Paul had returned from work one day, and everyone was hustling and bustling around him. He causes quite a commotion among the girls when he walks through the door. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen talking to me when he asked the girls, “Guess what I had for lunch today?”

Simultaneously, Sophia began crawling in the cabinet right by his feet. (it’s their car they use to get everywhere) = )

Paul looked down and said, “Sophia…”

She scampered out of the cabinet with a giggle, “You didn’t have Sophia for lunch!!”

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

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My collection of the random, ridiculous, and silly things said around here. I know it’s been awhile, but these are some doozies!

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Gracie has had a recurring line lately that has been cracking us up.

When Paul has the chance, he will tell them a story before bed. Awhile ago he started with the “Samuel story” so it’s now progressed into Saul and David. If you’ve read the account, there are some moments of… well, battle-ish type scenarios. Gracie apparently gets it pretty well.

Paul will be wrapped up in the story, telling it with great excitement while the girls listen spellbound -except for Mckayla, who hasn’t quite yet mastered the art of being spellbound- when a graphic detail will come along…

“… and the prophet Samuel chopped King Agag in pieces!”

And Gracie will interject, “Oh, that’s not good!”

It’s all I can do to not completely lose it on the spot.

What makes it so funny is that she keeps doing it! Even though there’s days or even weeks between opportunities. I can’t remember all of them, but you can imagine when she heard,

“… and they came in the next morning, and the god Dagon was on his face on the ground with his arms broken off!”

“Oh, that’s not good!”

“… and that stone landed right in Goliath’s forehead and he fell down dead!”

“Oh, that’s not good!”

Apparently, she has some reference for who’s side we’re on, because when Paul said, “And the army of Israel chased the Philistines and defeated them…”

She said, “Oh, that’s good!”

We can’t get enough; it is so hilarious! And she never is scared about it, just totally wrapped up in the story and without even thinking,

“Oh, that’s not good!”

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On a semi-regular basis, Sophia finds a way to aggravate the normally patient and sweet Hope. Hope will come running to me for help, to which I normally reply, “Did you talk to Sophia about this?”

“No,” she’ll know what I’m about to say…

“Then don’t come talk to me about it.”

So one afternoon this week, Hope came in the kitchen:

“Mommy, Sophia keeps kicking me, and she won’t stop when I tell her to!”

Hope has a very soft and pleading way of saying “No.”

Sophia had been just following her around gently tapping her legs just to annoy her.

“Okay, Hope; this is what you do: Next time Sophia is bothering you, you just look at her and say, ‘Knock it off!’ Now you may not be mean, but you can be very firm and serious. Just say, ‘Sophia, knock it off!’ And Sophia,” I turned my attention to her, “if Hope tells you to knock it off, you stop right away.”

The girls left the kitchen. I wondered whether it would actually work or not.

Sure enough, in an hour or so, Hope came running to me, “Mommy,” she started in an exasperated voice, “I was laying on the floor and Sophia was running around and around me in circles; and I told her, “Kick if off!”

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Gracie has a turtle that she carries around and often refers to as if it’s her kid. It would take pages and pages to write all the silly things that she has said about her turtle. It’s her general out when she’s in trouble or been corrected, “Yeah, my turtle does that, too.”

One day at lunch, Sophia had asked me if when they grew up and had kids if their kids would call them, “Mommy.” So sweet. Of course, I replied that, “Yes,” they would.

Gracie piped up, “My turtle calls me ‘Mister Letter!'”

That child’s brain operates in a completely original way.

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On the nights that Paul is home, I supervise/give the girls their baths and showers, get them all ready for bed, then send them out to tell Daddy, “I’m ready for bed!” Once they’re all ready, I make a final appearance in the living room to make sure that they have indeed let him know that everyone is ready for bed, because by that time I am quite ready for those lights to go out and that door to close.

Several weeks ago, I came around the corner to the living room and saw Paul motion to me to be quiet and watch.

Sophia was sitting in a rocking chair and had all the girls sitting around her down on the floor.

I plopped down on the couch and quickly surmised that she was “teaching” a class.

“Now everybody,” she began in a very silly want to be grown-up/British voice. “This is our principal, Mr. Funsday.” She pointed to Paul. “And look who just joined us, his wife, Mrs. Funsday!” She pointed to me and then added, “Let’s all give her a rominal plause.”

All the girls began to clap wildly.

She went on to teach the silliest three minute class I have ever seen. It was definitely worth staying up a little later. = )

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If you haven’t seen these posts before, check out more of the hilarity here, here, and here. Or just click on the Category “WTFOTWH.”

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 5 Comments
photo credit
photo credit

Good morning!

Here are a few funny things that were heard around here this week ~ hope you enjoy!

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This morning, Gracie got out of bed a little earlier than I wanted to. So after taking her to the restroom, I brought her in bed with me. One of my favorite things to do with the girls is to ask, “What is your favorite…?”

“Gracie, what is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?”

“Strawberries and eggs.” No surprise there; she’s said that before.

“What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?”

“Macawoni and cheese.” Again, completely normal two-year old answer.

“What is your favorite thing to eat for dinner?”

“Pizza.” I quite agree.

“Gracie, what is your favorite thing to eat for a snack?”

“Spinash.”

?

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We were driving home from eating dinner out this week when Gracie interrupted the conversation to complain…

“Mommy, I’m hungry!”

I reasoned with her, “You can’t be hungry, Gracie. We just ate.”

“I’m hungry from the talking!”

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And the grand finale (in my mind). = )

Hope and Sophia were cleaning up their papers and crayons after coloring one afternoon. Sophia held up two cut-out figures that closely resembled a man and woman for me to see.

“Wow, Sophia, those are great. Who are they?” I asked.

Her voice became very excited as she held up the woman who I could now see had a beautifully colored dress, “This is Aunt Laurie at her wedding!!!”

“Oh wow!” I said.

She held up the rather long, skinny figure of a man, “And this is Uncle Aaron. He was so excited he turned into a microphone!!!”

Only Sophia. = )

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 1 Comment

Hey everybody! I have another somewhat funny thing that was said in our house today…

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(Sounds of Mckayla crying around the table)

(me) “Gracie, what happened?”

“Mckayla was trying to get up in my chair.” (Gracie)

(me) “Did you push her?”

(Gracie) “Yeah, but I’m okay.”

(Oh good. That was my concern all along.)

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 4 Comments

Welcome to “What the fly on the wall heard”! This is where I keep track of all the silly things said around here as we go through our life with four girls five and under.

Sophia quickly shoved a bunch of newly picked grass in my hand so she could run down the sidewalk as we were on our way home from playing outside, “Mom, can you hold these for me? It’s my fresh garlic!”

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This afternoon at lunch, Paul and I were conversing about ranching life, how it’s dusk to dawn, day in and day out; how there’s so much work to be done; how it must help people to avoid the pitfalls of idleness to be so busy…

Sophia chimed in (with very excited tones), “And because they live on a farm, they don’t even have to stop to eat breakfast if they’re really busy; they can just go to work, grab one of the animals, kill it and eat it!!”

Gracie had a little something to add, “And they probably get a kitty-cat, and they’d kill it and eat it, and then put it inside the fence. And that makes perfect sense.”

I’m not lying! That’s what she said!

So just to review, they’d kill a cat, eat it, and put it inside a fence. All that would make perfect sense.

Got that?

What the fly on the wall heard

~ Christie ~ 1 Comment

Oh boy, was it a good week for funny things said around here! I started these posts so I could remember the silly and ridiculous things that come out of our mouths. This week there’s even a guest appearance from one of Paul’s sixth grade students!

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First up…

Sophia leans over to Hope at the dinner table, “I want to tell ya somethin’…” she says excitedly.

Hope leans over to listen.

“Have to wait ’til next year!”

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“Hope, while you’re supposed to be picking up toys is not a good time to pretend that you’re blind.” (me; and thank you Helen Keller book)

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Paul was having a conversation with some of his middle school students regarding middle school smells. = ) I guess one of the guys started feeling a little in the hot seat so he blurted out, “Hey! I put deodorant on yesterday!”

It got better.

Later he defended himself, “Hey, cologne covers a multitude of scents.”

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And… in my opinion, one of the funniest things I’ve heard around here in a long time.

To set it up, I have to give you a little background. We have this Curious George book about writing thank-you notes. On the back of the book, it shows how to pronounce “thank you” in several languages. The girls learned “Merci!” and get a great kick out of using it on me every now and then. We have said several times that I need to learn how to say “Your welcome” in French so I can respond to them.

All that to say, we were sitting at dinner one night (just the girls and I) and Sophia asked how to say “eye” in French. (Sometimes we get a little bored and crazy after being in the house all day together without Paul)

My computer happened to be on in the kitchen so I said, “I’ll go check for you.”

I googled it and listened to the pronunciation several times. Apparently, I don’t have an ear for the French language. To me, it sounded like, “Oh-ay?” “Oh-i?”

I told Sophia as best as I could and all the girls said it several times.

We finished dinner and I was just clearing the table when I saw Sophia go up to Hope and say, “Oh-ay!”

Hope’s response made me laugh out loud.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t understand you, I’m English.”

Seriously?

Then Sophia proceeded to follow her around the table pointing at her eye, blinking, and saying, “Oh-ay? Oh-ay? Oh-ay?”

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The next night, the girls were repeating the aforementioned joke because they knew it made me laugh.

Hope had just finished saying, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t understand you, I’m English,” when Gracie chimed in…

“I can’t stand you, ma’am! I’m anguish!”

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Ohhhh, I love living with little kids! First-class entertainment.