What the fly on the wall heard

Surprisingly, these first two are from my husband. He totally cracks me up – I thought first to put these on facebook, but then thought they’d be better here, since it’s been awhile.

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We’d been driving for several minutes where Paul and I had been quietly talking to each other with the constant interruption of “Mommy! Daddy!”

“Children!” Paul began, in a very professorial tone, “I’m trying to talk to your mother. I chose her to be my wife. I loved her and wanted to be with her and talk to her. I did not choose you. I love you very much, but you were thrust upon me. You are here no matter what. But your mother I chose. I did not have to be with her, but I wanted to and so I married her because I wanted to talk to her.”

He went on and on restating himself until finally concluding, “So please, sit there and be quiet for just a few minutes so mother and I can talk.”

It was mostly quiet with a few giggles before Sophia piped up, “Daddy?”

****

The little girls were finishing getting ready for bed, I was on the couch relaxing, and Hope and Paul were talking.

He handed her a book to read to him. She didn’t want that one.

“Here, this is Anne of Green Gables; do you know what that is?” Paul asked.

Hopey shook her head.

“It’s a book that a whole lot of people like,” he began, “And do you know how many of all those people are women?”

Hope shook her head again.

“All of them.”

****

A few mornings ago, we were all in the kitchen and Gracie kept opening her mouth and making an “Ah!” noise trying to get our attention.

“Gracie, what are you trying to show us?” I asked.

With huge eyes and excited voice she replied, “Two of my taste buds are stuck together and they won’t come off!”

****

My children are very interested in what meats come from what animals. We’ve been eating roast beef sandwiches for lunch lately and they’ve started this funny joke among themselves. One of the little girls will say, “Mommy, what animal is this from?”

“A cow.”

“Ohhhh!” They get excited and pick up there meat to hold flat in their hand. “Would you like to pet my cow?”

I politely decline.

****

Mckayla said this a few months ago, but the girls loved it so much that it has become another one of their jokes.

She was being slow to finish her lunchmeat so I kindly reminded her that she needed to finish quickly if she wanted her cookie/treat/whatever-it-was-that-day.

“Okay.” She responded happily (love when that happens), “but I can’t eat too much or I’ll have to go to the hospital.”

****

Hope you enjoyed the latest installment of all the silly, random, and ridiculous things said around here.

Until next time! = )

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