{Israel recap} Day 7: I need you

Driving by the plain of Bethsaida, near the sight of the feeding of the five thousand
Driving by the plain of Bethsaida, near the sight of the feeding of the five thousand
Synagogue at Chorazin
Synagogue at Chorazin
likely spot for the Sermon on the Mount
Near to the place of the Sermon on the Mount

(Repost)

If you’ve been reading my posts about the other side of the Israel trip, then you know that yesterday’s shopping trip ended up to be sort of stressful.

However, determined to have all the fun that we could have, I scheduled another shopping trip with another friend to another favorite place of mine: Goodwill. (Love to look at high-end places; buy at less than high-end places.)

Well, this trip did present me with another episode of stress; but the ending was much happier.

My girlies went with me and we were all ready and excited. My plan was that I would have the youngest sit in the child seat of my shopping cart; and my friend (who is so awesome and loves my kids) could push my two-year old in her cart. The older two do really well staying with me and I knew that they would have fun looking through stuff with us.

Hello Goodwill: bye-bye shopping cart idea. Goodwill doesn’t have carts!! At least this one. Just one more reason why I like Salvation Army better.

Anyways, it was cumbersome to carry the baby around and look at the same time, but we were not dismayed.

I ended up with some really great finds which actually felt like really small steps towards some of my goals for my home. I so want to be able to decorate my house and make it beautiful without spending much. This was really the first time that I felt like I found stuff (even looked in the right places) to start accomplishing that.

Here are my finds: Gorgeous brown sheet, bright yellow table cloth, yellow fleece scarf, gray sheet and pillowcase with white stripes, and my very favorite a sunshine mirror! All this for fourteen dollars and change.

I’m not even going to begin to tell you what I hope I can do with these, but if I ever get around to it, I’m sure I’ll be proud as a peacock and let everybody know.

When I got home, I got a text from my neighbor saying that she was so heartbroken about what had happened in Connecticut. What happened in Connecticut? I got on my computer and found out.

How trivial my thrift store finds seemed now. How could I have enjoyed such a fun, carefree time with my friend and kids when parents just like me were having their hearts ripped out?

It wasn’t okay that Paul was gone anymore. I needed him, and I needed him now. Somehow I made it through the rest of the evening with the girls. After they went to sleep, I sat on the couch in a news-induced stupor wondering if something like that would ever happen to me.

It was late when my resistance gave in and I finally went to bed.

Thanks for reading my first series: Taking care of four little girls alone (while my husband is on an amazing study trip to Israel). Here are links to the other related posts. 

Series coming soon

It’s official: the Israel trip is on

Official introduction

Day 1: to turn out that last light

Day 2: lonely in a crowd

Day 3: Is something wrong with me?

Day 4: Sometimes you just need…

Day 5: It hit me

Day 6: The problem with “me” time

Day 7: I need you

Driving by the plain of Bethsaida, near the sight of the feeding of the five thousand
Driving by the plain of Bethsaida, near the sight of the feeding of the five thousand
Synagogue at Chorazin
Synagogue at Chorazin
likely spot for the Sermon on the Mount
Near to the place of the Sermon on the Mount

If you’ve been reading my posts about the other side of the Israel trip, then you know that yesterday’s shopping trip ended up to be sort of stressful.

However, determined to have all the fun that we could have, I scheduled another shopping trip with another friend to another favorite place of mine: Goodwill. (Love to look at high-end places; buy at less than high-end places.)

Well, this trip did present me with another episode of stress; but the ending was much happier.

My girlies went with me and we were all ready and excited. My plan was that I would have the youngest sit in the child seat of my shopping cart; and my friend (who is so awesome and loves my kids) could push my two-year old in her cart. The older two do really well staying with me and I knew that they would have fun looking through stuff with us.

Hello Goodwill: bye-bye shopping cart idea. Goodwill doesn’t have carts!! At least this one. Just one more reason why I like Salvation Army better.

Anyways, it was cumbersome to carry the baby around and look at the same time, but we were not dismayed.

I ended up with some really great finds which actually felt like really small steps towards some of my goals for my home. I so want to be able to decorate my house and make it beautiful without spending much. This was really the first time that I felt like I found stuff (even looked in the right places) to start accomplishing that.

Here are my finds: Gorgeous brown sheet, bright yellow table cloth, yellow fleece scarf, gray sheet and pillowcase with white stripes, and my very favorite a sunshine mirror! All this for fourteen dollars and change.

I’m not even going to begin to tell you what I hope I can do with these, but if I ever get around to it, I’m sure I’ll be proud as a peacock and let everybody know.

When I got home, I got a text from my neighbor saying that she was so heartbroken about what had happened in Connecticut. What happened in Connecticut? I got on my computer and found out.

How trivial my thrift store finds seemed now. How could I have enjoyed such a fun, carefree time with my friend and kids when parents just like me were having their hearts ripped out?

It wasn’t okay that Paul was gone anymore. I needed him, and I needed him now. Somehow I made it through the rest of the evening with the girls. After they went to sleep, I sat on the couch in a news-induced stupor wondering if something like that would ever happen to me.

It was late when my resistance gave in and I finally went to bed.

Thanks for reading my first series: Taking care of four little girls alone (while my husband is on an amazing study trip to Israel). Here are links to the other related posts. 

Series coming soon

It’s official: the Israel trip is on

Official introduction

Day 1: to turn out that last light

Day 2: lonely in a crowd

Day 3: Is something wrong with me?

Day 4: Sometimes you just need…

Day 5: It hit me

Day 6: The problem with “me” time

To stop a beating heart

As I have been processing the tragedy that occurred in Newtown, Connecticut, the realization has come to me that we all do at some level still deeply value human life.

I shut my eyes, and try to think of how to say this without being unnecessarily offensive while still maintaining pleading honesty.

Why does it bother us that the lives of small children were ended, yet in the same day we as a nation champion the cause of ending even smaller lives?

Some of the children in that school at least had the opportunity to run or hide in a closet. Unborn boys and girls can’t even do that.

We grieve at seeing the destruction of those children, but would think nothing of their destruction if had been just, say, ten years and seven months earlier. But ten years and seven months earlier they were the same person that they are today, just smaller and more helpless.

From the little bit of reading I have done around the Word Press community, I understand that this will probably not be a welcome opinion; and that’s okay. It is not my intent at all to be incindiary or uncaring; I’m just trying to write what I’m thinking as a way to process the grief in my heart.

But ending a life is ending a life. And the knowledge of when life begins and who gives it is unmistakably burnt in our hearts.

I was relieved to hear that the children were told to close their eyes as they walked past such unnecessary carnage.

But we are adults; we must not close our eyes to this other horror in our nation.

The 180 presentation really helped me to understand how I thought about this question. It’s definitely thought-provoking, whether you’re for or against.