Here’s my list of questions to ask your kids sometime around the New Year. We always love this time of hearing their thoughts from the previous year and thinking together about the new one. Use it as a starting place for your own family or friends.
What was your favorite memory from this year?
What was the hardest thing about this year?
What was your favorite book of the Bible that we read together? Why?
What was your favorite other book?
How have you grown this year?
What is something you learned that you didn’t know or couldn’t do last year?
What was your biggest disappointment or failure?
What is one thing you want to learn this year?
What is one thing you want to be different this year?
What is one way you want to grow in loving God this year?
What is one way you want to grow in loving others this year?
What is one thing you’d like to do with the family this year?
How can we pray for you?
This year I have the questions written down in my journal with places to record the answers. I hope these provide opportunities for some great conversations!
I didn’t have chance to do that on January 1 this year – didn’t even have the list made – but it’s not too late! I decided to make a brand new list just to keep things fresh. ; )
Here are twelve questions to ask your kids at the beginning of the year:
1. What was your favorite thing that happened last year?
2. What was the saddest thing that happened last year?
3. Where was your favorite place you visited?
4. Where is somewhere you would like to visit this year?
5. What did you most appreciate about your family last year? How could you communicate that?
6. What did you learn from the Bible last year?
7. Are there any specific sins that God convicted you about?
8. How do you think you could grow in your love for God this year?
9. Are there any things that keep you from loving God? any things that you find easier to love than God?
10. What did you most appreciate about your church?
11. What could you do to love your church family more this year?
12.What would you like to learn this year?
Zoe can wait a couple more years. = )
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This is just a place to start! I’ll probably vary it depending on the age of who I’m asking. Let me know if you try it!
I guess one of the joys and terrors of parenting is answering the questions your children are bound to ask. We’ve had some pretty good ones in the last year, so I thought it’d be fun to write them down.
Here they are, in no particular order.
Hope:
“Mommy, if God is righteous and would never do anything wrong, then why did He tell Abraham to take the life of his son Isaac? Doesn’t the Bible say that killing is wrong? I don’t understand.”
“Mommy, before Adam and Eve sinned, when they walked with God… was God still invisible to them?”
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Sophia:
“Mommy, does God know all the people that will believe in Him?”
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Gracie
“Mommy, what are feelings?” Seriously, have you ever tried to define the concept of feelings without using the word “feel”? It took me a good five minutes to come up with an answer. Let alone the fact that I was driving the car, ending a phone call about lunch plans, and hoping for a red light so I could put on my make-up. Their timing!
A few days later she asked, “What does ‘after’ mean?”
Hope
This one she asked while really thinking through salvation. I thought it was pretty interesting that even at five we want to figure out a way to gain our own righteousness. “So Mommy, what if a person could stop sinning and only do good things for the rest of their life. Could they go to heaven then?”
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And for a light ending, yesterday I saw Gracie in the middle of the living room, arms extended, passionately preaching. It didn’t take long to realize she was being Jonah. (She was the only one there) After a few more minutes, she dropped her hands and looked dejectedly up, “God, the people of Nineveh just won’t settle down!”
I have a lot to do today. We have not been operating at full steam around here, but the chaos caused by daily life has kept clicking right along.
On the list would be to make more of a dent in the laundry, clean the bathrooms (gag), start thinking about a menu and grocery list for the week, and check the calendar to see when we’re scheduled to resume homeschooling.
We’re going to fellowship with some friends in the afternoon, so I almost began strategizing about how to accomplish my tasks by lunch.
But I want something about this New Year’s Day to be special for the girlies. My six and four-year-old are old enough to sort of understand the concept of “out with the old in with the new.”
So my idea is to ask them questions about last year, and see what their opinions/desires, even goals might be for the New Year.
You never know with kids; sometimes they’ll really surprise you.
Here are my ideas for questions:
*What was your favorite thing about last year?
*What was the worst thing that happened last year?
*What do you think you learned last year?
*What is one thing you really hope happens this year?
*What would you like to do more of this year?
*What part of obeying Daddy and Mommy do you think you should work on this year?
*How do you think you could be more loving to your family this year?
*How do you think we should try to help other people who don’t have as much as we do this year?
*What is something you would like to learn this year?
*Where is somewhere you would like to go this year?
*If you had a choice between Mommy reading to you more or teaching you music and piano more, which would you choose?
*What is one thing you want to work on this year?
*What would you like Mommy to do more of this year?
*What would you like Mommy to do less of this year?
*What do you want to pray for about this year?
This is a very rough, in-the-moment sketch; but I really want to try it!
Maybe this could be a sweet New Year’s Day tradition?
Here’s to resolving to spend time asking and listening in the morning!
Don’t try to figure out what this picture has to do with elephants because the answer is nothing at all. I just love it.
We live in a second story apartment surrounded closely by seven other families.
In the last year we have moved from safely maneuvering four kids up and down the stairs to teaching them how to consider others in how they go up and down the stairs.
After several attempts to explain consideration, stepping lightly, being quiet… an idea dawned:
No elephants on the stairs!
And they got it!
Of course, they took it to the next level, “Be like cats and cheetah’s!” Cheetah’s is because sometimes it takes forever. But I try to downplay the cheetah thing as safety is still the number one concern with them being little and everything.
Have you ever thought of a ridiculous line that helped your kids finally get what you had been working on for months?
Why this… as the end to 31 days of training my kids?
Because in my mind, it boils down to creativity and consistency. Neither of which are possible without our Faithful Creator. I get the blame for all the mistakes and He gets the glory for all the victories.
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I have to be honest, I have enjoyed this series/challenge; but I’m also very glad it’s done.
I have learned a lot.
Hopefully, I’ll post about that some time in the future.
In the meantime, you have thirty-nine minutes left to enter the giveaway… and the competition is heating up. = )
Thank you so much to all who have read and encouraged. I’m so thankful for you!
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Don’t forget my sister and I did this together! I have completely loved her series! Thanks so much, Laurie, for going through this craziness with me. You’re the best!
In the interest of mixing it up here at the end, I thought I would talk about two specific things where I really take my hands off.
They’re completely unrelated.
I know this picture is fuzzy, but I love it.
The first is how very young children treat a new baby. My girls were all very young when the sibling after them was born. Really, they were young enough to not even have jealousy or other what-happened-to-my-mommy issues. That being said, I realize that what I’m about to say will not apply to everybody.
I tried very hard to not be overly careful or stressed about how the toddler treated the new baby. Rough hugs, kisses, squeezes… even the occasional toy being tossed at them enthusiastically were all okay. For some reason, I didn’t want there to be an immediate connection in their mind between “new baby” and “No.”
We said “Shhhh…baby’s sleeping,” “Be gentle,” and yes, “No,” when Hope was pulling two fistful’s of Sophia’s newborn hair.
But for the most part, it was “Hey look, this is your future best friend!”
Next is slightly more serious in my mind and also perhaps a little more unconventional.
There’s no cool way to say it, so I’ll just blurt it out: I let my kids play with my Bible. Even when they’re young and prone to wrinkle, fold, or even tear it, if they want to sit on the floor and page through it, I’m okay with that. Don’t get me wrong, intentional disrespect and dismemberment is duly treated.
But here’s my thought: I don’t want (again) their first connection between them and the Bible to be “No.” I want my kids to love the Bible. I want them to read it for curiosity, for fun, and eventually for nourishment.
So if they pull it off of the shelf or the desk and start to flip through it, I’m not going to take it away.
Are there some Bibles in our house that have paid the price? Absolutely. Two of my Bibles currently have a few pages stuck in the back after having been torn out. But in my mind, it’s a small price to pay to nurture a love for reading God’s Word even at the earliest years.
We talk about how special the Bible is, how wonderful it is to read it, how God has been so kind to reveal Himself to us through it, and how to treat it carefully. But let’s face it, a two-year-old is probably more likely to catch on to “Hey sweetie, I’m so happy you’re reading the Bible,” than “I’m going to take this now and you can have it again when you can turn those flimsy pages perfectly.”
Does it work? Only time will tell; but this is something I’m willing to take a chance on.
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Do you have areas of purposeful lenience in your parenting?
(and hopefully this won’t be the last post in the series even though I didn’t finish it before midnight; one more and then we’ll be done!) = )
Put two chairs facing each other. The child sits in one and the parent sits in the other. Use a timer (I use my phone) and set the timer for one minute.
Each person must sit there with their hands folded and their mouth closed until the alarm goes off.
Seem simple?
It is!
But it teaches the all-important skill of sitting still!
We actually start out at thirty seconds. When I felt that the girls were ready, we’d bump it up to a minute, then a minute and a half, two minutes, and three minutes.
Three minutes is the goal! (according to the Scheibner’s)
All in all, when I do this with all four kids, it takes about ten to fifteen minutes. Every now and then we let everyone go twice, but most of the time everyone just does it once. Of course, the older girls get longer times and the youngest is still working on thirty seconds.
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Now here is where I have to confess.
I’m terrible at doing this!!
Which is so frustrating, because it helps the general welfare so much!
I don’t do it every day, but I should. Some weeks I don’t do it at all. But when I do, I’m always very, very happy.
I think it communicates a few things to your kids.
1. Daddy and Mommy are helping you learn how we expect you to behave.
2.You can sit still!
3. Self-control is a vital skill in life that you will need from now until the day you die.
Here are a few situations where having this “skill” can really save you:
1. Before meal time. “Okay kids, everybody at the table. Fold your hands and practice self-control until we’re ready to pray.”
2. When a child is having trouble stopping their crying. “We’re going to fold our hands and close our mouths until you are done.”
3. When the wiggles come during church or any other need-to-be-quiet-at function.
4. When a child is getting so wound up that they’re about to get in trouble. “Let’s sit down for a minute and practice self-control before you hurt yourself or someone or something else.”
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For awhile, I did a lot better at this, but it just seems that days are so busy now that it’s hard to fit in.
But that’s ridiculous.
Doing it definitely saves time in just about every other area.
I walked down the hallway after the many-eth time of putting a little girl back in bed. I saw things that needed to be put away, jobs I thought surely would have been done by now.
Why haven’t I gotten to that… I began to think; and then I realized… this is what I’ve been doing!
All week.
And suddenly, I didn’t seem to mind the mess as much.
One of my little sweeties has just given me a run for my money this week. The piles and laundry and cluttered counters that I meant to take care of mean that I actually concentrated on a bigger problem that was happening.
Thankfully, I can also remember when this happened with another one of our little darlings, and guess what? We got through it! The house even returned to normal. How comforting!
There’s always a tradeoff when something like this comes up. I’m choosing to believe that something more permanent than the status of my house is being accomplished.
(and if nothing else, someone is now sweetly sleeping) = )
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I’m giving away Fit to Burst, by Rachel Jankovic. Check it out here!
Well, they’ve been featuring all these giveaways over at their blog for the new book by Rachel Jankovic, Fit to Burst… but, I haven’t won.
So I just decided to buy the crazy thing! And I’m so glad I did!
It just came yesterday; I’m only through the third chapter. All that to say, I can’t give you an official review, but I can tell you that it is fantastic!
She describes her book as a “collection of ‘field notes’ from a mom seeking to honor the Lord in her daily life. “I write about what I know, and what I know is the challenges, the joys, and the work involved in raising little people.”
I’ll try to pick favorite takeaways from the chapters so far.
“The Paradox Perspective”
Most of us grew up in a culture that despises this kind of thinking {a life of Christ-like sacrifice} and it may not come naturally to us. But we need to have the language of Scripture define our way of thinking, and not truisms from the world.
Have you taken on the form of a servant? … This is how we imitate Christ: We esteem others greater than ourselves, and that turns into action. You will be humbled. You will have opportunities to humble yourself further. Choose to do so gladly, not resentfully.
“The Unbaked Biscuit”
{on mommy guilt} I thought of biscuits. I would like to be a person who makes biscuits for my hungry children. I do not feel like making biscuits right now. I will make biscuits another time. I will have time when I am not tired and feeling fat. The kids won’t know. I wish I had made biscuits. I could have made biscuits. I’m such a bad mom who doesn’t make biscuits. I am not as good as all the moms who are everywhere in this stupid world making biscuits. People who talk about making biscuits are self-righteous. I hate biscuits. They make me feel guilty. Jesus loves me! Biscuits or not! Jesus doesn’t care that I didn’t make biscuits! Home free! Biscuit-free!
{what she writes after that is even better}
Fruit is intimately connected with forgiveness. When we are forgiven, we do not gallop out into a life of ambiguity and indifference. We do not become great negotiators of whether or not it matters that we aren’t doing things. We become filled with gratitude, love, joy, and peace. And then, having a firm foundation of another’s righteousness, we are free to go out and do. Jesus does not care even the tiniest bit what you do for your salvation, because there is nothing you can do for it. But he cares very much what you do with it.
“The Mean Boss”
…I was telling him about my expectations. And apparently my expectations were not aware of what my life is actually like. … My expectations were a seriously mean boss.
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The book is short and the chapters even shorter. I’m pretty sure every one could be read in ten minutes or less. (however, when I read Loving the Little Years, I liked to read a chapter and then think about it for a few days before moving on)
Want some super fun, favorite Friday news? I ordered two books!! Yes, look back at the picture (by the way, if you follow on facebook you would know why the books were in a pile of *clean* laundry). = )
There, that looks like some sad kind of modern poetry. But I’ve seen one too many rafflecopters lately, and this is my boycott! = )
I will count every entry, so if you use more than one method you will have more chances to win. If you comment here or on facebook, let me know if you shared, liked, pinned or other such qualifying nonsense.
The giveaway will end at 11:59 pm on October 31, and the winner will be announced soon after!
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And now, I have to go… so I can keep reading!
and may you be more fortunate in your giveaway endeavors than I have been in mine = )
My husband is a master at making our girls laugh! I love watching them together.
Something that happened on our trip last week reminded of how important it is for laughter to be part of the training/disciplining/parenting equation.
The girls were really good; but Mckayla went through a few times where she was rather indignant and whiny about what she wanted. At one point, Paul turned around to sternly correct her. She got the picture and everything settled down. A few seconds later, I heard her giggle. I looked at Paul and realized that he was making silly faces at her. She laughed and he laughed and after a couple minutes it was done.
But it stuck in my mind. I have to remember to do that more.
small steps, big picture 