Pulling them in close

Well hello. I’m coming to you on a lovely afternoon while the kids are playing outside and the babies are napping. Should I be putting away clean dishes in the dishwasher? Possibly. But here this post is in my head and I don’t want it to float away.

I read an about page that made me think this week. She described her writing as for her kids to be able to “read her” when they are older. I think this is a wonderful way to think about blogging. So for them, for you, and even for me a few weeks down the road – here it is.

It seems that we have a cycle of having at least one child who is struggling at all times. Our kids are all still small – so we’re talking disobedience, disrespect, constantly being too wound up, unkindness to siblings. Certainly all our kids – being sinners – will fail in all of these areas every week. But there’s usually one whose transgressions are a little farther past the line. = ) And, in the course of a few months, each one will have their turn being “the one.” It just seems to happen.

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About three kids ago, it ocurred to me that “the one” of the hour seemed to be the first one up in the day. Great. You see them come through the door and brace yourself, imagining the struggles that the day will hold.

By His grace, the Lord helped me to think a little differently. Why not use those few minutes to invest a little love and direction. Instead of sighing or sending them back to their room, greet them warmly and stop to snuggle them in your lap for a few minutes. Sometimes I’ll sing them a song, or read them a verse, or say a short – but desperately needed for both of us – prayer. Mostly I just tell them I love them and encourage them to obey Daddy and Mommy and be kind to their sisters that day.

I can’t say that it makes the difficulties go away completely, but it does help my mindset and a lot of times theirs as well.

Very often in the afternoons little ones who are past napping get rather cranky and naughty. I’ve found it’s much better to pull them close than to continue trying to occupy them with toys or siblings.

“Do you want to hang out with me for awhile?”

The answer is usually yes. Sometimes we’ll read a book quickly to snuggle, but then they just sort of follow me around while I do dishes, laundry or dinner preparation.

Of course, it might look totally different in another house or situation, I know that. The main thought is that if a particular child is posing more problems than normal, seek ways to pull them close to you for affection and attention. Involve them in your everyday tasks in a way that is just for the purpose of being together. Or, forego the dishes and laundry and play their favorite game or something.

It’s so helpful in the midst of stressful, merry-go-round discipline situations to also have sweet moments sprinkled in.

Don’t forget to hug them extra tight before bed. ; )

Every moment counts.

31 days of training my kids: expectations and birthdays

imageMy sweet little Mckayla is turning two tomorrow. (today for those of you reading)

And boy did she ever finish off her year with a bang. = / But we won’t go into that.

So tonight I’m thinking about birthdays. What I want them to be, and what they end up being.

I love looking at pinterest and birthday celebrations just look so fun to me. But… I know that I can’t really do them. As much as I wish I was that creative, organized mom who could pull off an amazing event for her child and be happy and cheerful and actually spend time with said child on that special day, I’m just not. Lest you think I’m despairing, at some point I will hopefully get better. Thankfully for me, my kids are at the age right now where they do not care at all and whatever we do, they love.

I have one major problem when it comes to birthdays: preparation.

There are always tons of plans in my head, but somehow, it’s always the night before and I’m thinking, “Why? Again?!”

So, I have developed a few criteria for birthdays in our house that are well within the realm of something I can do.

1. Do something fun that they will really enjoy that day. I used to try to think of something that would be really cool, like the coolest thing of the whole year; but sadly, toddlers have no clue what a year is. Happily, this makes picking something fun for them to do a whole lot easier.

2. Make a special cake or dessert that they will enjoy. Again, my definition of special is probably a lot lower than most. However, it’s about pleasing my kids, not my unrealistic expectations. And they get very excited for cake!

3. Decorate in a way that the girlies will feel like something is special. We usually don’t do parties, but I still want the day itself to feel festive.

4. Take pictures to remember the day. This is a recent one. It is out of my comfort zone; so see, there’s improvement. = ) See Gracie’s pictures here.

Now with all that said, here are my desires/plans for Mickey J’s special day tomorrow.

1. Go play at the park. Take buckets and shovels and play in the sand. (we don’t normally do this) Be okay with getting all dirty and sandy.

2. Eat a Monkey Cake! (lovingly made by her sisters and Nana) There is no better choice than a monkey for Mckayla this year. = )

3. Decorations have been foregone, but homeschooling has been postponed. No school on birthdays! It’s a new rule. = )

4. Take pictures. I already have her outfit picked out. It’s her red fuzzy hoodie with a pink Minnie Mouse.  I want to remember when I look back at the pictures how much she loved that “Ginnie Mouse!”

And yes, that’s about it. More than anything, I want to look at her, and listen to her, and tickle her, and enjoy seeing how much she is loved by every person in this family.

Do I hope I do better next year? Absolutely. I’m already thinking about sweet Hopey’s birthday. Considering my preparation problem, I should probably start gift shopping for her day after tomorrow. = )

But this is Mckayla’s day and I don’t want to waste it wishing for things that aren’t.

So tell me (and this isn’t just one of those questions your supposed to ask at the end) how do you get ready for birthdays? It escapes me!

My favorite person ever

I think this is my favorite picture from our wedding.
I think this is my favorite picture from our wedding.

Ready for a riddle?

Who is 6 foot 2, going bald, easy to please, loves people, hates coleslaw, cheers for Duke and the Yankees, incredibly handsome, enviably smart, and gives the absolute best hugs and horseyback rides?

If you guessed my favorite person ever, you’re right!

Six years ago today, I got to marry him. It was pretty cool that he even asked me.

Since then, life has not been a bed of roses, or a bowl of cherries, or a walk in the park, or whatever you might call it. But it’s been amazing.

I have learned an incredible amount from him and been shown more love than I could ever deserve in one hundred lifetimes.

It all started out with us making milkshakes together on Wednesday nights at a camp in Arizona. Now we have four little girls and an amazing assortment of memories.

Paul, aka Bubby, I am so thankful for you. Your love has taught me more than I could tell. Marriage to you has been one of the greatest gifts God ever gave me.

I remain the Founder and President of your official fan club.

All my love,

Christie

What love feels like

Sometimes love feels like the cold blast of air that greets you as your faithful husband walks in the door from work

Sometimes love feels like hot, stinging dishwater.

Sometimes love feels like a heart that’s hurting inside while your mouth voices thoughts you’d rather leave unsaid.

Sometimes love feels like a tiny hand connected to a very wobbly, newly walking body.

Sometimes love feels like the side of your husband pressed up against your own as you do absolutely nothing.

Sometimes love feels a lot like playing ring-around-the-rosie.

Sometimes love feels so amazing you can only respond in wordless worship.

Sometimes love feels like a rock in your stomach once you’ve decided to apologize.

Sometimes love feels like a four year old climbing on you as if she was still two.

Sometimes love feels like your heart is bursting.

Sometimes love feels not so much like a dramatic explosion inside, but thirty pounds of soft, squishiness sitting down in your lap.

Sometimes love feels like a fuzzy sleeper holding a body that’s collapsed on your shoulder.

All the time, love feels undeserved.

What love feels like

Sometimes love feels like the cold blast of air that greets you as your faithful husband walks in the door from work

Sometimes love feels like hot, stinging dishwater.

Sometimes love feels like a heart that’s hurting inside while a mouth speaks reproof that will yield future peace.

Sometimes love feels like a tiny hand connected to a very wobbly, newly walking body.

Sometimes love feels like the side of your husband pressed up against your own as you do absolutely nothing.

Sometimes love feels a lot like playing ring-around-the-rosie.

Sometimes love feels so amazing you can only respond in wordless worship.

Sometimes love feels like a rock in your stomach once you’ve decided to apologize.

Sometimes love feels like a four year old climbing on you as if she was still two.

Sometimes love feels like your heart is bursting.

Sometimes love feels not so much like a dramatic explosion inside, but thirty pounds of soft, squishiness sitting down in your lap.

Sometimes love feels like a fuzzy sleeper holding a body that’s collapsed on your shoulder.

All the time, love feels undeserved.

a mere memory

photo credit, lempacreative.comI would do almost anything to hear Mckayla laugh. Fortunately, I don’t have to. Her laughter comes easily and often.

      As I sang her goodnight song, she reached for her blanket and bear; knowing it would make her laugh, I pretended the bear kissed her in between phrases. To see her laugh was pure joy: she threw back her head, wiggled, smiled…all was right in her world. How could I be the one privileged to witness this amazing moment?

I love that my face was close to hers. I love that I was holding her soft, warm body in my arms. I love that I could see every aspect of delight on her face. Wow.

Mckayla, I love you. I hope you never stop laughing. Maybe you’ll read this someday and remember how much your mama loves you.

Goodnight, sweetheart.