Girl or Boy – my feelings heading into the ultrasound

“Are you hoping for a boy?”

“Do you keep trying for a boy?”

“Is Dad going to get his boy this time?”

imageIt’s only normal for people to wonder. And it’s only normal for us to wonder how they can’t see how much we love our all-girl life.

“How’s your husband do with that?” every last talkative stranger has asked.

“Actually, he loves it.” I reply. “He is king of the hill around our house. Those girls adore him.”

But when you know there’s another baby in your belly, and you don’t know what it is it yet, your mind does begin to wonder what it would be like.

Thoughts of ease, of keeping things how they are, of a new adventure, something totally new, of insecurity, of really dirty bathrooms… all run through your head.

But after five months of waiting, the time is finally here. Lord-willing, this morning we will find out if our newest little baby is a boy or a girl.

And this is how I feel about it:

First, I will just be happy to hear that sweet heartbeat and see that tiny baby moving around in there. We are not owed anything, and should we discover some bad news, it would be our place to give thanks for the joy this child has already brought and receive with trust and joy whatever plans God has for the future.

Second, if it was a girl… I would be so excited. I can’t say it enough, we love our all-girl life. Each one is so uniquely wonderful and adds so much to our family. Their love for their dad and for each other is enough to fill my heart to overflowing. I can’t even imagine the fun another one would add.

Third, if it was a boy… I would be so excited. And scared. And then excited again. What would I do with it? How would I talk to it? I have no idea!! It would be so much fun to figure out! I have a name that I really love that we would get to name it. We would get to welcome a whole new set of toys into our home… trucks and dinosaurs and army men. We would have to figure out a whole new family dynamic.

imageSo which one do we want? I’ll admit there have been times where I strongly wanted another girl and other times where I really wanted a boy; but right now… I really don’t care.

Every time I try to imagine either one, it’s just really exciting.

New little baby,

I can’t wait to find out what you are. But I want you to know that I couldn’t love you more if you were different in any other way. Your sisters are already crazy about you. And Hope, Sophia, and Mckayla will love you so much even if you are a girl. Just look at how much the older ones love Mckayla. And Gracie, bless her heart, if you are a boy… she will learn that not all boys are dirty and stinky and mean, she will love you very much. 

Stay safe in there, okay? Your sisters all pray for you and your Daddy and I, too. We love you so much and can’t wait to see you. 

Love,

Mommy

P.S. Enjoy the calm while you can, because once you are on this side you will be in for the adventure of your life! xoxo