Can you say “hermeneutics”?

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

Hope is intelligent, articulate and exact. Sophia is funny, crazy and mischievous.

They were sitting at the table, coloring. I was in the living room folding clothes. Which seminary class their father would attend that night was the topic of their conversation.

Sophia asks, “What class does Daddy have tonight?”

“Hermeneutics,” Hope replies.

“Oh…” and Sophia repeats hermeneutics. Except…she didn’t say it quite right. Almost, but not quite.

“No,” Hope corrects her, “her-me-noooo-tics.”

“Hermejetics.”

“Hermeneutics.”

“Herbejuckus?”

“Say ‘herm-”

“Herm-”

“-men-”

“-men-”

“-noo-”

“-noo-”

“-tics.”

“-tics.”

Hope is very happy with this. “That’s it! Now say hermeneutics.”

“Hermalexa.”

This went on and on. Sophia never cracked a smile, never changed her voice at all. Honestly, I didn’t know she had such creative, verbal-convoluting abilities in her.

Hope never caught on. Okay, she caught on when Sophia digressed into using bathroom word endings. Ay-yay-yay. That’s when I stepped in between peals of laughter, “Okay, okay.”

Was that really my three and four year old? Yep. Thanks for the reminder that my husband’s stellar sense of humor …has definitely been passed down.

Can you say “hermeneutics”?

For first time moms

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my first sweet little girl

Recently we were at a birthday party where I got to meet a friend of a friend who was there with her two week old son. I would say it brought back a lot of memories for me, but actually I have very few memories from what I fondly call “the black cloud.” The black cloud in it’s strictest definition ranges from the moment of coming home from the hospital to approximately six weeks, varying by person. The black cloud can also quite accurately describe the moment of coming home from the hospital to the first full week a baby sleeps through the night. All that to say, I don’t really have memories of it. Just memories of memories; which is kind of weird.

Anyways, I guess I got to thinking about what it’s like during that time. The girl kept saying, “It’s just so weird to be thinking about something else besides him for like thirty seconds.” And I totally understood that. I also totally understand what it’s like to be walking down a dark hallway really wondering if you just fed the baby or if you were on your way to feed her. And the list could go on.

It really is so weird because you feel like you’re functioning; everything seems “normal” as far as your perspective of yourself and time and conversation. But then afterwards it’s just completely blank.

Skipping to another new mom topic here: this advice is given frequently, but this is the way I say it: When someone offers to help you, the answer is yes. Yes, you can take my plate to the trash. Yes, I need some water. Yes, yes, yes. Believe me, you will have your chance to be helpful or strong or capable later on; just accept the help.

It was so fun for me to watch this girl and try to think of what she needed and how to be a help. I’ve waited and prayed for the time when I could be on the other end and in a small way, it came. As the evening progressed you could tell she got more comfortable with being the “babied” one. That’s so good! For all first time moms everywhere, you are so special. Don’t worry about not

savoring every moment or about getting it all right; it will all end up in the black cloud anyhow. That’s just how it goes and it’s okay.

What love feels like

~ Christie ~ 2 Comments

Sometimes love feels like the cold blast of air that greets you as your faithful husband walks in the door from work

Sometimes love feels like hot, stinging dishwater.

Sometimes love feels like a heart that’s hurting inside while a mouth speaks reproof that will yield future peace.

Sometimes love feels like a tiny hand connected to a very wobbly, newly walking body.

Sometimes love feels like the side of your husband pressed up against your own as you do absolutely nothing.

Sometimes love feels a lot like playing ring-around-the-rosie.

Sometimes love feels so amazing you can only respond in wordless worship.

Sometimes love feels like a rock in your stomach once you’ve decided to apologize.

Sometimes love feels like a four year old climbing on you as if she was still two.

Sometimes love feels like your heart is bursting.

Sometimes love feels not so much like a dramatic explosion inside, but thirty pounds of soft, squishiness sitting down in your lap.

Sometimes love feels like a fuzzy sleeper holding a body that’s collapsed on your shoulder.

All the time, love feels undeserved.

Thankful

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

I suppose that this is quite an old idea, but I shall return to it anyway. We’ve had a great Thanksgiving, but I haven’t had much time to think specifically about things to be thankful for. So I will write it here and go to bed. (in the order they come) and…a friend suggested to say what you’re thankful for and then add a because. I made my list first and will add the because in italics.

1. The sacrifice of Christ and gift of salvation. because without this I would have no hope

2. A warm blanket to curl up under. because it feels so good

3. Food in the refrigerator. because I know it will last several days

4. Adorable children. because this makes it easier to love them when they are less than good

5. A husband who takes the Bible seriously…no really, seriously. because his example reproves me every day; I want to be like him

6. Health because it sure does make life less complicated

7. Heat because I don’t deserve this and so many people don’t have it

8. Books because I love them, because of the opportunity to learn

9. Blogs because they provide so much relaxation and inspiration

10. Church because as imperfect as we are, we can grow to be more like Christ together

11. Friends because this again, I don’t deserve

12. Hard times because they help me to be thankful for what’s really important 

13. Forgiveness because I need it every second of the day

14. Mercy because I am such a great sinner

15. A laundry room with washer and dryer because I remember what it was like without them

16. A forgiving husband when I neglect to use the washer and dryer because this happens so often

17. Prayer because even though I continually neglect to use this amazing privilege, God doesn’t take it away from me

18. Soft, comfortable clothes because again, it feels so good

19. Most of all, mercy. because God is so good to me and I truly don’t deserve it

Can you feel the stress?

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

By my clock, there are twenty-six hours and forty-eight minutes until Thanksgiving. I have a little over half of that until my company comes. And today, I felt it.

Yesterday I was motivated. With my to-do list in hand, I ran around the house fixing, cleaning and preparing. But not too much; just enough to accomplish what needed to be done, knowing there was a set plan for the next two days.

Fast forward to this morning. I don’t know if it was me or the girls, but something wasn’t clicking. Gracie had four accidents; Hope and Sophia pulled their dresser over; Mckayla was cranky and my efforts notwithstanding, the word for the day was futility.

I hereby declare that I think stress is inevitable during the holidays! (So stop publishing misleading articles about a stress-less holiday, you lovely magazines that we all adore!)

Let’s see, I’m suffering from menu-picking paralysis, I need to clean the kitchen floor, tidy up the house, fold some laundry and go to the store. All before going to bed tonight. but I want to go to bed now! No matter. Oh and all that I just listed is so that I can be ready to do what I need to do tomorrow. (sarcastic smiley face)

All right, it’s not all that bad. I mean everything I said is true, but the stress levels haven’t reached dangerous heights. Just lettin’ you know, I’m feelin’ it. How about you?

P.S. To all those who are reading my new somewhat rough blog: Thank you so much for reading; I really appreciate the encouragment. Have a lovely Thanksgiving.

As of tonight…

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

I feel awful about the day that just passed. Some days you just wait the whole day for it to be over. The sad thing is, someone who would have observed the goings-on from the outside wouldn’t have seen anything wrong.

The girls weren’t particularly bad. I accomplished a lot, maybe even more than on an average day. But some days your heart just isn’t in it.

Quite honestly, I just wanted to be doing other things today. Things that didn’t involve other people, little or big. Just me. At every point in the day I had to fight my desires and bring myself back to what was important, to what was now.

Looking back, I should be grateful that there was at least a struggle. I didn’t get upset with the girls, or neglect what I needed to be doing, give in to a poor-me attitude or check out.

It just didn’t feel good. Why couldn’t I be abundantly thankful? radiantly joyful? endlessly creative? The only answer I can find is that I’m just a mom. I have four little girls and the load is huge. No matter how many times I get alone and do things by myself, no matter how often my husband helps me out, no matter how many people come alongside, there will be days when mothering is just not fun. It doesn’t mean I’m having a bad attitude or giving in to discontentment with what God has given me; it just means I’m real.

So for tonight, I’m going to have to put aside what I feel and think through what I know.

*God is good; He loves me and blessed me with this job.

*My girls are invaluable; I know that they know I love them and by God’s grace I believe they saw that in what we did today.

*I am permanently flawed. The new nature God gave me at the moment of rebirth will still have to fight my depravity until I am changed perfectly into the image of Christ. This means that struggle will be a part of life until the day I die. Struggle is not a reason to weigh the heart down, but a sign that good is prevailing.

*God gave me abundant grace today to remember Him and continue on. God gave me endless mercy as I constantly demonstrated selfishness, ingratitude and discontentment.

So why talk about this in public?

I have a lot of good days. Actually, mostly good days. The days that aren’t good are great; except for the few, few, very few days that are difficult, bad or really hard. I don’t ever want anyone to think that my life is without struggle.

Sometimes it’s because of the girls, sometimes it’s because of other people, sometimes it’s because of uncontrollable circumstances, but sometimes my day becomes a struggle because of just me.

a mere memory

~ Christie ~ Leave a comment

photo credit, lempacreative.comI would do almost anything to hear Mckayla laugh. Fortunately, I don’t have to. Her laughter comes easily and often.

      As I sang her goodnight song, she reached for her blanket and bear; knowing it would make her laugh, I pretended the bear kissed her in between phrases. To see her laugh was pure joy: she threw back her head, wiggled, smiled…all was right in her world. How could I be the one privileged to witness this amazing moment?

I love that my face was close to hers. I love that I was holding her soft, warm body in my arms. I love that I could see every aspect of delight on her face. Wow.

Mckayla, I love you. I hope you never stop laughing. Maybe you’ll read this someday and remember how much your mama loves you.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

Ordinary

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Today was a good day with the girlies. What day isn’t good with four little girls? What I loved about today, I can’t really remember. We were together; we played; we worked; we learned (short vowel sound words and blends for them, patience for me). Gracie was as hilarious as a two year old should be; Hope was sweet, and old, and thoughtful, and a little out of control as she tried to make sure she was still worthy of attention. Sophia was Sophia. Mckayla made me wonder more than once if she was going to climb or flip out of her crib. I was exhausted and thankful when it was time to say goodnight.

I don’t deserve this job. Maybe blogging will help me remember that.

Ordinary things make me feel safe and real. That’s why I loved today.